Embolden Others by Being Yourself

This week’s podcast features Lisa Thompson, a fellow mountaineer who became the second American woman in history to summit the treacherous K2. Lisa and I have both worked professionally in the male dominated financial services industry, and we reflected on the importance of role models – both in personal and professional settings.

When Lisa started working, there were very few senior women (or frankly even peers) she could look to as role models. Not having a visible representation of what it could look like to be a woman in that environment, she had no choice but to model herself after what the men were doing. She wore a version of a men’s suit and even tried to smoke cigars at company parties because she thought that’s just what you were supposed to do. As young professionals in the Pacific Northwest, the other thing the men were doing was mountain climbing. They would return to the office on Monday with a visible sense of camaraderie fueled by their shared interest and respect for each other given what they could do. It was this – not necessarily the activity itself or even the physical challenge – that held appeal for Lisa. The first big mountain she climbed was Mt. Rainier and though she didn’t summit, she felt a deep sense of accomplishment for having done something that was so far outside her comfort zone. That drive has now taken her to Everest and beyond.

When I started getting serious about climbing K2, I scoured the internet for interviews and blogs from Lisa to try to learn her tips. One of the things I read was how relieved she was that someone in her climbing group had brought dry shampoo. Without even knowing it, she paved the way for me to ask Everest expedition companies what my options were for bringing a hair dryer. The first company said they didn’t understand the question. The second said I could use the generator once a week. The third said using a hair dryer would be no problem and asked if I’d also like a mirror. It might sound a bit frivolous, but I can’t overstate how important it is to have the things that make you feel like yourself when battling such an intense environment. The funny thing is that when I later made it to K2, there was a record number of women on the mountain that year. They had heard of me as the woman who did her hair at Everest base camp. And they thanked me! They said because of me, they had permission to get their lashes done before climbing, bring nail polish, and simply be the truest, most confident version of themselves up on the mountain.

Try it yourself:

• Write yourself a letter. A sports psychologist Lisa worked with suggested she write a letter to herself in the future emphasizing all the things she had overcome. In Lisa’s case, that meant being the first person in her family to attend college and have a corporate career, beat cancer, and start climbing mountains. We all have those moments of thinking, “I don’t know if I can get through this.” And then we do. Remind yourself of the hard things you have already accomplished so when things start to feel a bit scary, you know exactly how strong you are.

• Repeat a mantra. Women are perhaps especially susceptible to negative self-talk, so many of us repeat mantras to keep our brains focused on one guiding idea while up on a mountain. Lisa explained that when she’s really struggling on a climb, she will link the words “I am” with every right step and “strong” with every left. It reminds her that all she is responsible for at that moment is keeping one foot in front of the other. You can do the same thing during difficult moments at work or when you get into an argument with a friend or family member. Go into the bathroom, look in the mirror, and repeat one phrase that grounds you and brings you back to what is really important.

• Put yourself in a wild place. When I started mountaineering, there weren’t many blonde American women up there with me. Because of that, I knew I had to be as visible as I could so other people who looked like me might have the courage to do the same. That’s why you’re reading this post now. When you give yourself permission to pursue the things that fire you up and gets you excited – no matter who currently occupies the space – you give others an opportunity to follow in your path.