Rebuilding After Devastation

If you’ve been around with me for a while, you know that my quest to become the first woman to conquer the Seven Second Summits only developed because of a serious car accident. I look at that moment as one that could have broken me down and made me more cautious, timid, and afraid. Instead it had the opposite effect. It jolted me out of my routine and made me take a hard look at whether I was living the way I wanted.

This week’s podcast guest, David Hitz, experienced a devastating break in his life that similarly forced him to pause and take stock of how he was living. In 2020, David and his family lost his oldest brother to suicide. Suddenly, his whole world flipped upside down. As he began to figure out how to rebuild, David focused on three main questions.

Try it yourself:  

• Question 1: How am I doing spiritually? This can mean different things to different people, but David focuses on solidifying the gratitude that is necessary to be a positive force for loved ones and yourself. He lays in a hammock on his porch every morning and meditates about what he envisions for the future, strengthening the neural pathways that lead to action. 
•  Question 2: Do I have what I need from a mental and emotional standpoint? For example, David’s wife had been seeing a psychiatrist for a postpartum issue but could feel in her body that it wasn’t the right solution for her. Professional help can sometimes be hard to seek, but it’s important to have those honest conversations and get the proper support.
• Question 3: Am I taking care of myself physically? I remember once when I was climbing K2 and got a call from my son’s summer camp that they wanted to quit. I was furious. Here I was, climbing one of the world’s deadliest mountains, and they couldn’t even survive a few weeks at Yosemite!? I had to hike 17 miles before I was able to get them on the phone, and in that time I lost the energy to be angry. When you’ve fully exerted yourself, it’s a lot harder to maintain negative emotions. 

David found that these three questions were the foundation of the kind of life he wanted to live. Now, David coaches others using these questions and principles of neuroscience and conflict resolution. I loved the tips he gave, because they really are so simple but rarely implemented in corporate settings. He encourages us all – whether we’re leading a team at work or leading a family at home – to check in with the people around us and make sure they have what they need across these three areas to thrive.