The Courage to Be Enough

Let’s have a conversation about ENOUGH. 

When do we ever feel like we are doing enough, giving enough, being enough?

Are we supposed to arrive at this magical place called “Enough”, where we kick up our feet in contentment and reassurance?

We all know the idea of “enough” can create so much pressure in our lives with the constant striving that “enough” requires. What if we just allowed a little bit of “enough” into our days? What would that look like?

I was in Kenya recently to summit Mt. Kenya, one of the Second Seven Summits in my goal journey, and this lesson of “enough” landed with me at full strength. Mind you, this lesson repeats in my life continuously and will require learning until I’m old and gray. I’ve gotten better about not beating myself up too much and I’ll take signs of improvement any day…

Back to Kenya…no one and no place has seemed to escape the financial toll of Covid-19. The financial effects from lack of tourism in Kenya were impossible not to notice. It made me want to do everything I could to help, but I was also there to make progress on my goal and journey. How to approach doing for others while not putting myself at risk? What does that fine line look like?  

Visiting Kenya and climbing Mt. Kenya was an experience unlike any other for me on a number of levels. I came home totally exhausted. I over-gave. I overcommitted myself. I took too much on. 

On the question of what is “enough”, with my Kenya experience as the most recent example, I’m landing on the idea that it is much easier to add to what you want to give, and it is much harder to do less than what you committed to. When in doubt, commit to less and allow for the opportunity to do more. 

1. My challenges started with choosing to climb with a local company instead of a US company. My conclusion was that more money would stay in Kenya, and Mt. Kenya is their mountain, so that could be a great way to give back. Which it is. However, if I did this, then I would have less bandwidth to do other things. In other words, when working with a local company, I needed to figure out what my checklist was for that location without the experience of knowing what it should be. For example, I needed the yellow fever vaccine to travel to Kenya. I had to find how to get a COVID-19 test in order to fly home. I needed to communicate more on what would be acceptable for breakfast, lunch, snack, and dinner. I needed to understand cultural differences (Kenya is still a very patriarchal society, so navigating as a female was a little more challenging). None of this was inherently bad. It was just different, and there is a limit on how much different I can take in at a time without losing focus on the task at hand.

2. I also chose to use a local cameraman instead of bringing one from the US. I wanted to support the local community as much as possible. This presented new challenges, though. Working with a cameraman is like being in a specific kind of relationship, and this one was brand new. We had very different definitions of success. Because he didn’t have the equipment we needed, I had to spend time hunting some of it down in a place I’d never visited. He also didn’t have the climbing experience needed (and as he’d advertised), so the one day we wanted the most footage we ended up having the least. It was tough to go in with optimism and good intentions to then have some failure come from not being realistic about all that was going to be involved, required, and needed.

3. I chose to hire women porters for the expedition. It was important to me to support local women, especially in a patriarchal society, to help boost that piece of the economy. It worked, but they ended up having significantly less experience and less strength. It took more time than anticipated, more bodies, and more effort to have it all come together.

4. I had the personal responsibility of bringing a friend’s daughter on the trip. It was such a blessing to have her there with me, but it added more responsibility to my plate. Her health and safety were top of mind of me with an already full mind on the climb, my health and safety, and all the details normally left to a more experienced guide.

I am only one person, and I know there is so much power in that. I know I have a contribution to make. I also know I have a gigantic goal of being the first woman to summit the Second Seven Summits. I so want to give, but I also want to chase this dream.

Coming back to the question of what’s “enough” – with my life, but also in service of others…My contribution to what I can contribute cannot be at the complete expense of other things that I do. 

My new definition of “enough” isn’t what the outside world is telling me. My definition of “enough” is: What can I give while still having enough left for myself, my family, and the other areas of my life? 

The target is moving and it’s always a balancing act or dance. However, it starts with the courage to not be enough to the outside world. It begins and ends with self-knowing, self-reflection, and self-ownership. This is my “enough”. This is what works for me.  This is courage. 

Cue one of my favorite mantras: Celebrate the Journey…