Who’s in Your Corner?

My last blog, Replacing “Wrong” and “Right” with “Different”, shares a practice and mental exercise that I really want to pass along to my kids. Where in our lives do we label things out of convenience or to feel more right about our perspectives? Sometimes we do this consciously and sometimes we do this unconsciously. This practice got me thinking about what food for thought I want to pass along to my kids. In the spirit of Mother’s Day and due to the fact that I have extra time for deep thinking out here on my Everest expedition, I’m devoting the next set of blogs in May to what I can share with my kids. I hope you glean something, too! (Let me know!)

Having the ability to observe and consider our thoughts is something I know I seek and will continue to seek the rest of my days. Sometimes, however, it’s like seeing the forest through the trees. Sometimes, we need the help of another to consider all the angles we can miss by considering with only our own eyes, experience, and thought patterns. But who do we turn to?

I believe it’s so important to ask and consider: Who’s in Your Corner?

I’m blessed with the trusted people in my corner. It’s so important to find the gems of people who are our life coaches, therapists, cheerleaders, and deep-rooted friends.

In my case, I’ve searched for and interacted with therapists and coaches who’ve all helped guide me in ways I couldn’t on my own. I encourage you to find one, go through a few until the connection feels right, and keep that person in your life as long as you can. Through good times, bad times, and the boring in-between times, too.

The concept of hiring a coach or therapist is more mainstream that it was even a few years ago. I’m so grateful for my amazing therapist! She is my guide, confidante, best friend, mother, sister, and my eyes outside of me. Over the years, she has gotten to “know” me. She knows my goals, endeavors, fears, weaknesses, and strengths. She can identify my “patterns” and help me look at life from a different perspective. In her presence, I can be unapologetically me, sharing all the things that show up in my life. No judgment, no advice (unless I beg for it) …nothing but listening and reminding me of who I am as I try to become the person I desire to become.

My tendencies tilt toward being a control freak. Over the years, I have come to learn that behind every control freak there is a fear of letting go, of not being supported, held, or looked after. My therapist is the reason that I’m now working through the extreme limitations I used to commit to in the name of control. She’s also the reason I can see past all of my self-imposed walls.

She helps me parent, and she knows my highs and lows. We talk once a week—sometimes about big stuff and sometimes about little stuff. She is my check-in, and she holds me accountable. She’s like a fairy godmother in my life, here to help me help myself. Her presence gives me comfort and relief, but also a pathway to growth.   

Whether you seek finding a great therapist, or if you find that support in a life coach, mentor, or friend, I can’t emphasize enough the importance of embodying the space of self-examination with a trusted and judgment-free confidante you can trust.

If, when you go down the list of who’s in your corner, you can’t identify one who quite fits what I’m describing, I hope you now know what to look for. I hope you feel comforted that feedback and support like are waiting for you!