7 Tips on Becoming a Better Mother

Motherhood is a journey filled with endless love, boundless challenges, and immeasurable joy. As a mother of seven and someone who has scaled the peaks of all Seven Second Summits, I’ve learned that much like climbing those towering mountains, being a good mother is a journey, not a destination.

It’s about embracing the climb, the falls, and the breathtaking views along the way. Through this adventure, I’ve discovered valuable lessons that have not only made me a better mother but also a better human.

I want to share with you some essential tips on how to be a good mother, embracing the values that have guided my very own life path: love yourself to love others, treat it with curiosity, and remember, it’s all part of the journey.

Becoming a good mother is a nuanced and enriching experience that involves self-discovery, patience, and unconditional love. Embracing this journey with an open heart and a curious mind can make all the difference. Let’s explore some key aspects of motherhood tied back to the principles that have shaped my own approach to parenting.

Self-Care and Well-Being

This might sound backward and require some internal work to wrap your mind around but bear with me because I cannot emphasize this enough: you need to come first. Love yourself to love others.

Your journey as a mother is akin to embarking on a challenging mountain climb. Just as a climber meticulously prepares their gear and nourishes their body for the ascent, as a mother, you must prioritize self-care.

It’s so easy to lose yourself in the whirlwind of parenting, but neglecting your own well-being hampers your ability to nurture others effectively. Just like a climber cannot conquer a peak without adequate rest and nourishment, you cannot pour love, patience, and understanding from an empty cup.

Your mental and physical well-being is the cornerstone of a healthy relationship and your ability to care for your children. Hard as it may seem, prioritize carving out moments in your hectic schedule for self-renewal. Whether it’s indulging in a quiet cup of tea, taking a rejuvenating walk, or practicing mindfulness, these small acts of self-care can have a profound impact on your overall well-being.

By prioritizing your own both mental health and physical health, you’re not just replenishing your spirit, but you’re also setting a powerful example for your children. You’re teaching them the importance of self-love, self-compassion, and the value of taking care of one’s own needs. In nurturing your own well-being, you’re demonstrating that it’s not selfish to prioritize self-care; it’s an essential aspect of being a good mother. Embrace this truth, and let it be the foundation upon which you build your journey of motherhood—one that’s filled with vitality, love, and enduring strength.

Effective Communication

Communication isn’t about the words we use. It’s about creating an environment where words are imbued with understanding, empathy, and genuine affection. Listening attentively, truly hearing the unspoken words and the emotions behind them, is where the art of communication truly begins. When your baby or child knows they have your undivided attention, they feel valued and cherished, fostering a sense of trust that becomes the bedrock of your relationship.

Speaking lovingly is another key facet of nurturing this connection. Your words have immense power; they can uplift, inspire, and provide solace. When spoken with kindness, your words become a source of encouragement, helping your child navigate the complexities of their emotions and experiences.

Good communication isn’t just about talking—it’s about fostering an atmosphere where your child feels safe to express themselves openly. By creating this safe space, you’re not just imparting the art of articulation; you’re teaching them the invaluable lesson of emotional intelligence.

They learn to understand their feelings and express them constructively, paving the way for healthier relationships not just within your family but in their broader lives as well. In essence, good communication transcends words; it becomes a profound connection, a bridge that spans the gap between hearts and minds, guiding your child toward a future of rich, meaningful relationships.

Quality Time and Presence

The constant buzz of digital devices works against us here. Amidst the chaos, it’s crucial to remember the unparalleled significance of quality time in parenting. Amidst the whirlwind, carve out moments intentionally for one-on-one interactions with each child.

Put aside your devices, silence the notifications, and be fully present in the moment. Engage in their world wholeheartedly—listen to their stories, share in their laughter, and be a part of their imaginative adventures. These moments of undivided attention are not just fleeting; they are the building blocks of a strong, enduring bond.

When you immerse yourself in their world, you communicate a profound message of love and validation. These seemingly simple interactions are the ones that create the most vivid memories, becoming the treasure troves of their childhood.

Quality time isn’t about grand gestures or extravagant outings; it’s about the everyday moments infused with love and intentionality. It’s the bedtime stories, the impromptu dance parties in the living room, or the shared joy of baking cookies together.

By putting aside distractions and being fully present, you’re not just creating memories; you’re nurturing their sense of security and self-worth. In these moments of togetherness, your child learns the essence of love: the undivided attention that says, “You matter. You are cherished.”

These moments become the foundation upon which they build their self-esteem and their understanding of what it means to be loved unconditionally. So, amidst life’s whirlwind, remember the power of quality time—it’s a priceless gift that shapes their world and yours.

Balancing Work and Family

This is a tough one for me. I cannot tell you how guilty I feel when I leave my kids behind to go on a climb or how urgently I want to get back to them when the climb is complete.

(Like that time on K2 when my boys decided they didn’t want to do summer camp anymore, prompting me to come home sooner than planned and ultimately helping save my life in the process because I had Anthrax, and one more day away could have killed me. But that’s another story for another day).

Finding an equilibrium between the demands of a career, mountaineering, and the responsibilities of motherhood is indeed a delicate balancing act. In a world that often glorifies busyness, it’s essential to discern what truly matters and prioritize tasks accordingly.

Create a realistic schedule that allows you to fulfill your professional commitments while also being present for your family. Delegation becomes a vital skill—one that empowers you to distribute tasks effectively, both at work and at home.

Recognize that seeking help doesn’t signify weakness; instead, it showcases your strength in understanding your limitations. Knowing when to ask for support, whether it’s from a colleague, partner, or a trusted friend, is a sign of wisdom. By entrusting others with certain responsibilities, you not only lighten your load but also create space for meaningful moments with your children. Remember, you’re not alone in this journey; there is strength in collaboration and a shared sense of purpose.

Building a robust support network of other moms is akin to fortifying your foundation in the face of life’s challenges. Friends, family, and fellow moms can provide not only practical assistance but also emotional sustenance. Sharing experiences and advice with other mothers who comprehend the intricacies of your daily struggles can be incredibly reassuring, which is one of the things we do in my Parenting Challenge.

These connections offer a safe space to vent, seek guidance, and celebrate victories—both big and small. Moreover, a support network extends beyond the realm of practical help; it becomes a source of inspiration and encouragement. Witnessing the resilience of others and learning from their experiences can imbue you with the strength to navigate the complexities of balancing work and family life.

In essence, these connections weave a safety net, reminding you that, even in your busiest moments, there are hands to catch you if you fall and hearts to uplift you when you’re weary. Remember, asking for help and relying on your support network isn’t a sign of weakness—it’s a testament to your wisdom in recognizing the power of collective strength.

Embracing Child-like Curiosity

Sometimes the best understanding is reached in the middle, and isn’t this a glorious thing? Getting on your kid’s level does more than make them feel like they matter—it gives you a chance to be a kid all over again.

Being a mom is an endless exploration, where each day brings forth new discoveries and profound lessons. It’s about viewing the challenges and triumphs with an inquisitive mind, allowing yourself to marvel at the unique journey each child presents. Instead of being overwhelmed by the unknown, treat every moment as an opportunity to learn and grow.

Embrace the quirks of your children, their individuality, and the surprises they bring, not as obstacles but as fascinating puzzles waiting to be solved. Curiosity encourages you to ask questions, to seek understanding, and to delve deep into the nuances of parenthood.

It’s in this exploration that you find the richness of the mother-child relationship, understanding that there is no one-size-fits-all approach to parenting. Each child is a universe unto themselves, and by approaching motherhood with an open and curious heart, you unlock the secrets of child development, nurturing their unique potential.

Curiosity in motherhood is not limited to understanding your children; it also involves discovering yourself in the process. It’s about questioning your own beliefs, adapting your strategies, and evolving as a parent. Motherhood is not a static state but a dynamic, ever-changing experience.

By treating it with curiosity, you allow yourself the freedom to experiment, to make mistakes, and to learn from them. Curiosity paves the way for self-discovery, enabling you to unearth your strengths, acknowledge your limitations, and continuously redefine what it means to be a good mother.

Embracing the unknown with a curious spirit transforms the challenges of parenting into exciting opportunities for personal and familial growth, creating a tapestry of memories woven with the threads of exploration, understanding, and love.

Having Fun with Your Kids

Motherhood offers a unique opportunity to relive the joys of childhood. In the innocent laughter of your children, the endless curiosity in their eyes, and the unbridled enthusiasm for simple pleasures, you find echoes of your own youthful exuberance.

As a mother, you are not just an observer but an active participant in their world of play and imagination. Engaging in games, crafting adventures, and exploring nature together becomes a chance to rediscover the wonder of the world through their innocent gaze. Through their eyes, you revisit the magic of bedtime stories and fairy tales, embracing the fantastical as tangible reality.

Motherhood allows you to immerse yourself in a world of make-believe, where every day is an opportunity to explore, create, and dream alongside your children. It’s in these moments of shared joy and unadulterated fun that you find yourself slipping back into the carefree spirit of childhood, relishing the chance to play, learn, and grow together.

Beyond the games and imaginative escapades, motherhood offers a chance to reawaken your own sense of wonder and curiosity. The questions your children ask, the puzzles they present, and the mysteries they ponder become invitations to embark on intellectual adventures. Suddenly, you find yourself revisiting old books, exploring the intricacies of science, and engaging in creative pursuits you had long forgotten.

Their insatiable curiosity becomes contagious, encouraging you to approach the world with fresh eyes and an inquisitive mind. As you guide them through their explorations, you find yourself delving into the unknown, learning alongside them, and savoring the joy of discovery. Motherhood, in essence, becomes a shared expedition where you and your children navigate the wonders of the world together, allowing you to be a kid again, not just in play but in the boundless excitement of learning and growing.

Remember to Enjoy the Journey

You can set yourself up for success in a variety of ways, from adequate planning and productive habits to well-plotted routines and solid support systems. But life has a way of happening regardless of how well-scheduled the week is. When it does, the ability to pivot gracefully while finding purpose and meaning in the detour can make or break the situation.

I recently made dentist appointments for all seven children, which requires the dentist to block off a significant amount of time and take the kids out of school a little early. We got there, and I had the appointment wrong—it was the following week!

It is in these situations that I remind myself motherhood is a constant learning process. Take it from me—you can plan everything out ahead, and sometimes things still won’t go as you wanted.

It’s okay. You’re a great mom. I read somewhere once that if you’re worried about being a good

Being a good mother is not about being perfect; it’s about being perfectly loving and perfectly you. Embrace the climb, celebrate the victories, and learn from the challenges. You’ve got this, and you’re not alone on this beautiful journey of motherhood. Here’s to becoming the best mother you can be—one step, one day, and one climb at a time. Mom, you’re a better mom than you think.