7 Ways to Help Someone With Low Self-Esteem

When it comes to being a leader in your workplace, home, or community, you’ll find that you often need to wear many hats. Leadership is more than just being in charge or having authority; it’s also about guiding others to reach their full potential. One of the most valuable things you can do for your team, family, or community members is to help someone with low self-esteem recognize their true worth.

A strong sense of self-esteem is like having a well-calibrated compass; it helps individuals make better choices, fosters resilience, and ultimately leads to improved well-being and productivity. By understanding the dynamics of self-esteem, you’re better equipped to foster a positive environment and bring out the best in everyone in your circle.

What is Self-Esteem?

Self-esteem is a lot more than just feeling good about yourself. It’s essentially how you view your worth, your abilities, and your overall potential. Imagine looking through a lens: when it’s clean and clear, you see an accurate reflection of who you are. This clarity often leads to healthy self-esteem.

On the flip side, if that lens is smudged or cracked, what you see gets distorted. This skewed view is what contributes to very low self-esteem. When you’re dealing with very low self-esteem, it’s like navigating life with a faulty compass, often leading you in directions that don’t align with your true self and making it difficult to make decisions that genuinely benefit you.

Signs of High Self-Esteem

• Self-Acceptance: Comfortable in your own skin and accept yourself, flaws and all.
• Confidence in Abilities: Belief that you can achieve goals, both personally and professionally.
• Assertiveness: Able to express opinions and desires openly without fearing judgment.
• Optimism: Tendency to see the positive side of situations and expect good outcomes.
• Emotional Resilience: Ability to bounce back from setbacks or challenges without excessive stress.
• Independence: Comfortable making decisions on your own without excessive reliance on others.
• Healthy Relationships: Capable of forming and maintaining balanced, respectful relationships.
• Adaptive Coping: Effective ways to deal with stress, adversity, or negative feelings.
• Strong Sense of Reality: Practical, realistic understanding of your limitations and strengths.
• Inner Happiness: Feelings of contentment and happiness that aren’t solely based on external validation.

Signs of Low Self-Esteem

• Self-Doubt: Constant questioning of your own abilities and decisions.
• Social Withdrawal: Avoiding social situations due to fear of judgment or embarrassment.
• Hyper-Sensitivity: Taking criticisms or even neutral comments as personal attacks.
• Perfectionism: An unattainable quest for perfection that often leads to procrastination or inaction.
• Negative Self-Talk: A persistent inner voice that focuses on failures, inadequacies, and shortcomings.
• Fear of Failure: Avoidance of challenges or new experiences due to fear of failure.
• Low Resilience: Difficulty bouncing back from setbacks, often leading to prolonged periods of sadness or frustration.
• Codependency: Reliance on others for emotional support to an unhealthy degree.
• Poor Body Image: Excessive concern about physical appearance, often finding flaws that others don’t see.
• Lack of Boundaries: Difficulty setting limits in relationships, leading to being taken advantage of.

The Impact of Low Self-Esteem

When you’re dealing with low self-esteem, the effects ripple out and touch every part of your life. It’s not just about feeling down; it actually shapes your actions, decisions, and interactions. Low self-esteem can impact your relationships, turning them into a source of stress rather than comfort. You might start doubting your decisions at work, impacting your job performance and leading you down a path of negative thinking.

This mindset can become a never-ending loop of negative thoughts and negative feelings. It’s almost like trying to conquer a challenging climb without preparing—without checking the weather, or without even knowing where you’re going. The result? You set yourself up for setbacks and disappointments.

Low self-esteem doesn’t just make the climb harder; it sometimes makes it feel impossible. This state of mind could have a more extensive impact, affecting your mental health and well-being. Imagine heading out on an outdoor adventure without the right gear; it’s risky, right? Similarly, low self-esteem can make you mentally unprepared to handle life’s challenges.

In a world where mental health is just as important as physical health, it’s crucial to address issues surrounding low self-esteem. Because let’s be honest, the trail of life is long, and we all need that emotional endurance to keep going.

Ways to Help Someone With Low Self-Esteem

Consider this the practical part of our guide, where you can pick up some real tools for helping someone navigate through low self-esteem. Up next are seven strategies that can turn the tide for someone who’s struggling, giving them the emotional toolkit they need to start building a healthier view of themselves.

1. Offer Up Open and Non-Judgmental Conversation

The foundation of any healthy relationship is the ability to talk openly. Whether it’s in my role as a mom, a business leader, or a friend, I can tell you that being non-judgmental makes all the difference. You create a safe space where the other person feels free to express themselves.

The act of sharing itself can be incredibly liberating and builds self-esteem. For example, if someone opens up about a challenge they’re facing, instead of offering immediate advice, try to validate their feelings. This simple act can be a huge boost for someone working on developing a more positive view of themselves.

2. Practice Active Listening and Empathy

There’s an art to listening—it’s not just about being silent while the other person talks. Active listening means you’re fully engaged, giving cues that you’re involved in the conversation. Nod, ask follow-up questions, and summarize what they’ve said to show you’re with them.

This not only validates the person but also sends positive signals that enhance their self-confidence. Your friend will realize their voice matters, and sometimes, that’s one of the most positive things you can do to uplift someone.

3. Encourage Self-Reflection

Self-reflection is like looking at a mirror of your thoughts and feelings. In the same way that I’ll sit down to evaluate the performance of a business venture or discuss interests and skills with my children, self-reflection can offer someone crucial insights into why they feel a certain way.

The goal here is not to challenge them with difficult questions but to guide them into asking themselves why they might have these negative feelings or thoughts. By identifying these patterns, they can start to work on breaking the cycle and focus on what actually interests them, leading to improved mental health and stronger self-esteem.

4. Provide Positive Feedback

There’s something magical about positive feedback; it has the ability to instantly lift someone’s spirits. When you notice someone doing well or putting in the effort, make it a point to acknowledge it. Simple acts of recognition can go a long way in addressing self-esteem issues.

In a world where we’re often quick to criticize, being the person who points out the good can be incredibly encouraging. The confidence that comes from such encouragement can be transformative.

5. Help Set Realistic Goals

Goals give us something to strive for, a direction to move in. And as someone who lives and breathes goals in both my professional and personal life, I can say they’re pivotal for self-improvement. But it’s essential to ensure these goals are realistic and achievable. Otherwise, the person you’re trying to help can feel overwhelmed, like they’ve set themselves up for failure.

A goal as simple as “I’ll listen more in conversations” can be helpful and set the stage for larger accomplishments. Every time they meet these smaller goals, their confidence builds, and they’re more equipped to tackle larger challenges.

6. Help Them Reframe Negative Self-Talk

We all have that inner voice that can either be our biggest cheerleader or our worst critic. In people with low self-esteem, this voice often leans toward the negative, employing words like “can’t,” “stupid,” or “worthless.” Help them realize the impact of this internal narrative.

The aim is to shift their own behavior in how they talk to themselves, from something self-destructive to something more constructive. Instead of “I’m stupid because I made a mistake,” encourage them to think, “I made a mistake, and that’s okay; it’s an opportunity to learn.”

7. Encourage Seeking Professional Help

Even in our ever-progressing society, there’s still stigma around people who attend therapy, but in many cases, it’s the most effective route to address deeply rooted self-esteem issues that can lead to depression and other mental health issues.

Despite all the love and support we may offer, there are times when professional intervention is needed to provide the right set of tools for improvement. Encourage them to seek help if they’re open to it. Let them know it’s not a sign of weakness but rather a courageous step toward becoming a healthier, more confident individual.

Tips for Caring For Yourself While Supporting Others

As you work on helping another person develop better self-esteem, take moments to assess your own emotional state. Don’t underestimate the value of simple activities like reading, going for a walk, or even engaging in hobbies that bring you joy. Doing so can recharge your batteries and make you more effective in offering the kind of support that can truly make a difference. Self-care not only ensures your own well-being but also equips you to be a more empathetic and understanding friend or family member.

Celebrate Supportive Communities

I want to stress the incredible value and beauty of a supportive community. It’s the collective spirit of encouragement that can make any journey, be it scaling the highest peak or navigating the complexities of a business venture, genuinely fulfilling. Whether you’re the one offering a helping hand or the one reaching out for support, remember that it’s a two-way street.

Providing support to someone dealing with low self-esteem doesn’t just change their life; it enriches yours as well. You gain a deeper understanding of empathy, compassion, and the complexities of human emotion. It’s about fostering an environment where everyone feels valued and empowered, creating a ripple effect that can positively impact more lives than you might imagine.

So let’s never underestimate the impact of knowing how to help someone with low self-esteem. The steps you take to lift someone else up can elevate you in the process. For more on empowering others in your community, check out this podcast episode with Kay Rodriguez.