How to Be a Good Parent to Your Child: 12 Ways

One thing nobody tells you about parenting is that it’s an ever-evolving journey. Just when you think you have one stage of life figured out, your kids grow and develop, and you end up with a brand new set of challenges you never even thought of.

The question of how to be a good parent often lingers in our minds, whether you’re a new parent or have been in the game for years.

Drawing from my own experiences and the collective wisdom of many parents I know and respect, I’m excited to share 12 essential ways to nurture and guide your child. Remember, there’s no one-size-fits-all approach, and not all parenting advice will apply to every family, but these tips offer a solid foundation for fostering a loving, supportive, and enriching environment for your kids.

12 Ways to Be a Good Parent to Your Child

1. Provide Unconditional Love and Support

This one might seem pretty obvious, but it can’t be overstated. When we talk about unconditional love, it’s about loving your child for who they are at every stage and every phase, not just when they excel or behave well. This love creates a safe and nurturing space in your heart that your child knows is always there, regardless of the circumstances.

As a parent, I’ve observed firsthand how this kind of love influences a child’s behavior and well-being. When young kids feel securely loved, they’re more likely to develop a healthy sense of self and a strong foundation for emotional and social growth. It’s about letting them know that while their actions might not always be acceptable, they as individuals are always loved and valued, no matter what.

How parents treat their children sets the tone for their future relationships. It teaches them about respect, empathy, and the importance of a good relationship. They learn to treat others with the same kindness and understanding that they receive.

I do think it’s important to clarify that unconditional love doesn’t equate to lax parenting. Unconditional love doesn’t mean letting your child get away with poor behavior or not guiding them. It means balancing love with guidance, ensuring that while their actions may have consequences, their place in your heart and family does not waver.

2. Be Present

In our fast-paced, always-connected world, being genuinely present with our children is both a challenge and a necessity. Being present isn’t just being there physically. You need to be able to fully engage with your child.

This means setting aside distractions (cell phones, computers, etc.) and focusing on your kids, whether it’s helping with a child’s homework, listening to their stories, or simply watching them play. Undivided attention makes them feel valued and heard. And when you aren’t giving them your full attention, they notice. Believe me.

Kids learn by example, and when they see you being fully engaged, they learn the importance of focus and attention. This is also an excellent opportunity to model positive behavior, such as active listening and empathy.

3. Spend Quality Time Together

There’s something truly magical about creating special moments with your children that you know they’ll remember forever. And I’m not talking about big, extravagant things like trips to Disney World. Quality time doesn’t have to be elaborate or even planned.

Often, it’s the simple, everyday moments that matter most. Reading a book together, cooking a meal, or discussing the day’s events can have a profound impact on your relationship with your child.

Even when you have a busy schedule, try to carve out some uninterrupted moments with your child each day. It’s a time when you can teach them through direct experience, be a good role model, and set an example of positive behavior and attitudes. Something as small as letting them help you prepare a meal can instill values like patience, teamwork, and the joy of creating something from scratch.

4. Communicate Effectively

Effective communication is important in all relationships in life. Learning to communicate well with our children is no different. When you can create an environment where open, honest, and respectful conversation is a daily practice, you’ll build a strong and healthy relationship with your child.

This is especially important with younger kids, who are still learning how to articulate their thoughts and emotions. When you actively listen and validate their feelings, it teaches kids that their opinions and emotions matter.

Communicating with your kids looks different at every stage of development. You need to adapt your language and approach to suit your child’s age and level of comprehension. This might mean simplifying complex ideas for younger children or being more direct with older ones.

5. Set Boundaries

Ah, boundaries. Parents love to set them, and children love to push them. It’s a cycle you probably experienced with your own parents, too.

Clear boundaries are important because they set household rules and expectations that guide your child’s behavior and decision-making. Boundaries help children understand the difference between acceptable and unacceptable behavior, providing a sense of security and structure that children crave. For younger kids, clear and simple rules help them understand what is expected of them, making it easier for them to follow.

Consistency is key when it comes to setting boundaries. If rules change frequently or are enforced inconsistently, it can confuse children and make it harder for them to follow them. If you have a parenting partner, make sure you have a united front when it comes to boundaries and household rules.

It’s also important to set rules that are age-appropriate and realistic. Asking too much from a young child or setting unrealistic expectations can be counterproductive.

As your child grows, they might question certain rules or need more clarity. Encourage these discussions; it helps them understand the rationale behind the rules and feel valued and respected in the family decision-making process. It’s a balance of being firm yet fair, guiding your child in the right direction while allowing them the space to learn and grow.

6. Understand Effective Discipline

Discipline is an essential part of guiding your child and encouraging good behavior, but it’s often misunderstood. Effective discipline is not about punishment; it’s about teaching and guiding. It’s about helping your child understand the consequences of their actions and encouraging good decision-making.

I won’t pretend to know all the answers when it comes to effective discipline, but I do know that overly harsh discipline methods can harm the parent-child relationship and affect a child’s self-esteem. In my personal approach, I focus on positive reinforcement, setting clear expectations, using mistakes as learning opportunities, and trying to avoid harsh discipline that doesn’t “fit the punishment.”

7. Be a Positive Role Model

Being a positive role model is one of the most powerful ways parents can influence their child’s development. Children are like sponges, absorbing everything they see and hear, especially from their parents.

By demonstrating the values and behaviors you want to instill in your child, you provide a living example for them to follow. This means showing them what it looks like to be a good person in everyday life—how you handle stress, resolve conflicts, interact with others, and even how you treat yourself.

When kids see their parents interacting positively with other adults and children, they learn the importance of good relationships and social skills. It’s also important to model self-control and self-reliance. Showing your child how to manage emotions and tackle problems independently teaches them valuable life skills.

8. Encourage Independence

It can be scary to give your kids more independence, especially when they’re young, but it’s incredibly important for their development. It often requires stepping back and letting your child take the lead, even if it means they might make mistakes.

Fostering independence from a young age helps a child develop problem-solving skills, self-reliance, and confidence. When you give your child the space to make their own choices and face the consequences, they learn valuable lessons about responsibility and decision-making.

Encouraging independence doesn’t mean leaving your child without support, though. You can still be there to guide them when they need help, offer advice, and provide encouragement. Remember, the goal of encouraging independence is to help your child develop into a self-sufficient and confident individual. By gradually giving them more responsibility and freedom, you’re helping them build the skills they need to navigate life successfully.

9. Nurture Emotional Wellbeing

What does it mean to nurture your child’s emotional well-being? It means creating a safe and supportive environment where they feel comfortable expressing their feelings, knowing they are valid and respected.

This involves more than just acknowledging their emotions; you need to take it a step further by teaching them healthy ways to cope with and articulate their feelings. Especially for young kids, understanding and managing emotions can be challenging. You can help them by discussing emotions openly and using age-appropriate language and examples.

Teach kids to identify and express their feelings, whether it’s through words, art, or other creative outlets, and then provide positive feedback when they express their feelings appropriately. This helps them develop emotional intelligence and resilience. Encourage them to solve disputes amicably, whether it’s with other kids or within the family. This not only helps them understand their own needs but also fosters empathy for others.

10. Encourage Learning & Curiosity

Engaging your child in learning and exploration is an excellent way to strengthen your relationship with them. It shows that you value their interests and are willing to invest time in their growth.

This can be as simple as starting a small garden project together to teach them about nature, which also imparts lessons on responsibility and patience. Or, if you have a passion for painting or science, let your child help you with these activities. Conducting simple experiments at home or collaborating on an art project can make learning enjoyable and memorable.

Actively participating in your child’s learning process is a powerful way to demonstrate your support for their interests and passions. Allow them the freedom to explore their own curiosities and interests; you may be surprised by what they want to explore.

11. Celebrate Achievements

It’s important to recognize and celebrate both the big and small successes in your child’s life. This practice is incredibly beneficial for children’s development as it boosts their self-esteem and encourages a growth mindset. Whether it’s academic accomplishments, progress in a hobby, or even personal milestones like learning to tie their shoes, acknowledging these achievements shows your child that their efforts are valued.

In addition to fostering a sense of accomplishment, celebrating achievements also strengthens the parent-child relationship. It creates happy memories and establishes a pattern of positive interactions. As you teach your kids the importance of recognizing their own achievements, you also instill in them the habit of self-appreciation, which is crucial for their own well-being.

12. Balance Work and Family

A lot of parents find balancing work and family incredibly difficult. I know firsthand what it feels like to try and give my full self to my children, my significant other, and my business and still have a little bit of time and energy left over for my own interests and hobbies. Unfortunately, it’s a complex reality of modern parenting, but it’s not impossible.

Good parenting involves making choices that benefit not just your professional life but also the emotional and developmental needs of your children. Striking this balance is key to maintaining a healthy family dynamic and ensuring that both you and your children feel equally valued and supported.

To achieve this balance, setting priorities and managing time effectively are essential. This might mean sometimes having to make sacrifices in your professional life to be present for important moments in your child’s life.

Alternatively, it could involve finding ways to integrate family time into your busy schedule, such as involving your children in your work life where appropriate or making the most of weekends and holidays.

Remember when we talked about being present and engaged during the time you spend with your family? This is where it becomes incredibly important. It’s about quality over quantity. When you are with your children, give them your undivided attention. This approach not only sets a good example of time management and prioritization for your children but also ensures that the time you spend together is meaningful and enriching.

Learn more about balancing work and personal life in my podcast episode with Anthony LaVopa.

How to Handle Challenges and Setbacks

Challenges and setbacks are an inevitable part of parenting. Difficult situations, such as dealing with behavior problems, are normal and part of the learning process for both parents and children. Setbacks do not mean that you aren’t being good parents; it means you and your kids are normal and experience challenges just like everyone else.

When faced with challenges, it’s important to remember that how you respond can significantly influence your child’s development and self-esteem. Reacting with patience and understanding, rather than frustration, sets a good example and shows your child how to manage difficulties constructively.

This is where being a good role model comes into play. By handling challenges calmly and thoughtfully, you demonstrate the kind of behavior you want your child to emulate.

Seeking advice from other parents, reading up on parenting tips, or even consulting professionals can be incredibly helpful when you find yourself overwhelmed with a challenging situation. This is the time to rely on your support system—family, friends, or parent groups—for emotional support and practical advice.

Ultimately, the goal is to guide your child in a way that they learn from their experiences. You want your child to grow into a well-rounded individual capable of handling life’s ups and downs.

Challenges and setbacks are part of this process. Embrace them with a positive outlook and let your child see them as opportunities for learning and growth. Remember, how you handle these moments can strengthen the bond between you and your child.

Developing Your Own Parenting Style

Every parent has their unique approach to raising their children, and discovering your personal approach is a crucial part of the journey of becoming a better parent. In my experience, developing your own parenting style is a dynamic process that evolves as you learn more about yourself, your child, and the kind of environment you want to create in your home.

1. Reflect on Your Values: Begin by considering the core values you want to instill in your children. Is it kindness, honesty, resilience, or maybe a blend of several values? Your parenting style should be a reflection of these core beliefs.
2. Understand Your Child: Every child is unique, with their own personality, needs, and ways of learning. What you think are “good parenting skills” that might work for one child may not be effective for another. Spend time understanding your child’s temperament, interests, and the ways they respond to guidance and discipline.
3. Learn and Adapt: Parenting is a learning process. Be open to gathering information from various sources—books, parenting workshops, fellow parents, and even your own experiences as a child. However, the key is to adapt this information to fit your family’s unique circumstances.
4. Adjust as Needed: As your child grows and your family’s situation changes, many parents find that they need to adjust their expectations. What works for a toddler might not be suitable for a teenager. Stay flexible and open to change.
5. Trust Your Instincts: Sometimes, despite all the advice and parenting tips available, it’s important to trust your instincts. You know your child and your family better than anyone else.
6. Seek Support When Needed: Don’t hesitate to seek support from family, friends, or professionals when needed. Parenting is not a journey you have to walk alone, and seeking help is a sign of strength, not weakness.
7. Prioritize Relationship: Above all, you should prioritize building a strong, loving relationship with your child. This relationship is the foundation upon which guidance, discipline, and learning are built.

In creating your own parenting style, remember that there’s no perfect way to parent. It’s about making conscious choices, learning from experiences, building a good relationship with your kids, and doing what feels right for your family.

As I navigate my own parenting journey, I constantly remind myself that being a good parent isn’t about being perfect; it’s about being present, loving, and ready to learn and grow alongside your children.

Remember, Good Parenting Looks Different for Everyone

Good parenting, while structured on some common themes, does not look exactly the same for everyone. Each family is unique, with its own dynamics, values, and circumstances. What works for one family may not work for another. Embrace your parenting style. Don’t compare yourself to other parents or your children to other children. Trust your instincts, learn from your experiences, and, most importantly, enjoy the journey of raising your child.