The Courage to Stay in My Lane

We are all walking trait combinations and contradictions. 

I am a natural people pleaser.

I am also equal parts introvert and extrovert. 

I need my alone time.

I can also get energized around people.

Sometimes, I can shift a little too far into energy outside the scope of who I am or what my intentions are set on. For example, if I’m not mindful when around others, I have the tendency to pick up their energy, absorb some or a lot of it as my own, and before long, abandon my goal in favor of someone else’s.

What do I mean?

Well, keeping it light…Let’s say I am in Mexico and “talking” with a native Spanish speaker. (I know maybe 20 words in Spanish; English is the only language I can rightfully claim.) I may be having a conversation with the nice Mexican gal I’ve met and before long I will apply my attempt at her tone, flow, and accent with English words. And, if I’m being honest, it doesn’t stop there! I will blend words from both languages, make up words, and carry on. It isn’t until someone who knows me joins the conversation and repeats back to me how insane I sound that I notice I am doing it in the first place!

Another example more germane to my current training goals happened at the gym while I was running on the treadmill. My coach was training someone else and saw me there. Once her session was done, she came over and signaled me to get off the treadmill. (I was kind of bummed to stop running because I was having fun play racing the guy next to me.) My coached pulled up my workout for that day on my Training Peaks app and then asked what work I was just doing. Doh! I explained to her that the guy next to me was killing it, and I got excited to try and copy his workout and one-up him. She stared at me with a tilted head and asked: Does he happen to be training for what you’re training for, Jenn? Remember YOUR goals, YOUR plan. No junk miles. You’re training for your own performance and not for his.

I share these examples because I often need to remind myself to refocus on what I’m doing and where I’m aiming. If I sense something is off, or that I’m distracted or fearful of doing what I need to do, I at least ask myself the following qualifying questions:

Is this what I need to be doing right now?

Am I in my energy or someone else’s energy right now?

What is the next best decision I can make right now?

Am I mentally where my feet are physically?

Notice the “right now”. That is the centering of the shift back to my lane.

Sometimes it’s great to use someone else’s energy to provide contrast or a sounding board for what we are doing, however we can’t let it take over completely.  Sometimes it’s easier to take on someone else’s vibe, goals, or story because it may seem like a more interesting direction than what we’re up to. Maybe we’re being lazy about articulating what we need to focus on or what we want. Maybe we’re scared to own up to what we need or want to do. I own up to all of the above. (I think we all can.)

Whatever your intention, whether deep in spiritual consequence or something like not exceeding a carbohydrate allotment in my day, sticking with it all sits on the spectrum of having courage. It’s even more courageous to stick with it when you’re only accountable to yourself and no one else. It matters most when we have the courage to honor ourselves and our knowing of what we have the courage to stick with. Courage is what keeps actions in line with desired outcomes.

It takes courage of all levels to stay in our own beautiful lanes!